pass the oil please, pablo'
2004-02-07
@ 3:27 p.m.
errr... i've got to stop all of this bitter apathy i have towards the world as of late. it's all i seem to do now. sit in a corner of a room and scowl, trying to send signals of anger and resentment to all that cross my path.
it's quite pleasurable at times, i assure you this.
it really all stems from working at blockbuster. it's starting to become a chore to smile sometimes. i absolutely can't stand the rat-bastards. they expect you to bust your bum, sell your heart out to the suprisingly overwhelming number of toothless customers that crossess my path, and yet they don't give you hours, they constantly nag like an old goat at every move you make and treat me like shit on a shingle. i'm tired of all this. i'm tired of it being my fault we don't have a movie in stock. that's right, i'm to blame. i hoarde all of the "gigli" and the "cabin fever" and "radio" into a large pile outside the storm and dance around it as i watch it burn. burn, baby, burn.
i suppose i just don't handle things too well. i get easily depressed over such trivial matters. but why work somewhere in which i'm obviously so unhappy? isn't that some sort of "lesson" in life? to be happy? but if not blockbuster, then where? i'm just going to be treated like feces anywhere else i turn to. that's the truth of the matter.
*sigh* i have to be at work in just an hour or two, and i'm telling you, i do nothing else but fantasize about throwing a video cassette at my manager's head and storming out of the store in all of my glory. i'd have done it already too, if not for the kind words of the only person i actually enjoy working with, kristy. i feel terrible for her in a way, too. she works so hard and doesn't get half the respect she deserves outta there. i've often told her that one day we'll just throw caution to the wind and run away to mexico, where we shall sell burritos all day while being rubbed down by cabanna boys.
it would be such a lovely reality...
